Discipline, love & an overhead bridge

It was one of those days. Sophie's going through her sleep regression so Krystin & I are both not getting proper sleep. Noah is cranky as hell as is refusing to take his nap. I snap. He throws a bigger tantrum. We are on the bed together and he's kicking & screaming for his dear life. He kicks me.

First warning. “Violence is not tolerated in this house” I sternly tell him. Usually a harsh tone works with him, but not today. More crying and wailing, and his legs are kicking around in despair. He kicks me again. Second warning. I firmly say, and let’s him know the consequences. He then explains between his sobs why he doesn't need his nap and that he wants his mummy - despite his best efforts, his logic doesn't make any sense.

He then says “you have to go on the roof Dad”. It's a bit of a shock - in his own way he's telling me to get lost, or go take a hike. His legs start kicking everywhere and hits me again. I have to discipline him. It is painful, for him & I. I tell him why I had to and ask him whether he is ready to apologize. He says sorry, sobbing. He finally cries himself to sleep, and cuddles into me.

When he wakes from his nap, as fresh and happy as can be. That's the wonderful thing about kids I guess, they don't hold grudges. Krystin & I sit explain to him why he needed to be discipline. I also apologise to him for my own shortcomings and losing my cool.

"Do You understand, Noah?"

"I understand." he replies, before proceeding onto the next subject as if he never got disciplined in the first place.

I tell Krystin I will take him to the overhead bridge nearby to watch trains - one of his favourite activities during the lockdown. We have agreed that whoever disciplines him should spend time after in an effort to mend any wounds or grudges, but more importantly to teach our children that we are family and we work it out together. There is no running away or hiding from the "bad cop" and especially no going to the other parent for the "good cop".

We pack some snacks and his water bottle and prepare to head off.

"Dad, I want to bring a book."

"Why do you need a book at the bridge I ask?" there is a frustration in my voice. "Fine fine, let's go before the sun starts to set." He scampers off to get a book & slots it in his backpack before we head to the overhead bridge.

We arrive at the bridge and sit on our usual spot at the stairs. The wind is chilly, as winter would have it. Trains go by, he waves in excitement.

"I'm hungry. Can I have a snack please?" I smile to myself, ever so proud whenever he's polite on his own accord. I open his bag and get out a snack for him. I take out the book and have a look what he chose to bring. The title has me taken aback. “Spot loves his Dad."

I feel a warmth of emotion come over me, warmer than the 4 layers of clothing I've donned to brave this winter chill. I don't know whether he intentionally chose this particular book or not - I doubt we will ever know, but this is what family is, where forgiveness abounds despite our shortcomings.

The sun begins to set, we head back home for dinner, hand in hand, never actually reading the book.